OUT OF COFFEE, how sad...

today is our party! my boyfriend's band Beard Season ( http://www.myspace.com/beardseasonband )will be playing, which is so exciting! I always heard these stories from my dad about parties with live bands...finally i get to experience one!

I have brought everything i own from dowstairs and around up into my room and it is now an absolute disaster! not that it wasnt before................But the point is, i need to both get rid of A LOT OF SHIT and also learn how to organize..this summer I gave away 5 garbage bags full of clothing, and I still have too much! I need to learn how to not be so attached to the objects that I have, because they just weigh me down and clutter my space, and though I try to deny it, because the natural state of my room, and any area i occupy, is CHAOS, a cluttered room sort of equals a cluttered mind...and I just dont like having a messy room! i cant fiiiind anything, I cant waaaalk anywhere........my stuff gets dusty or bent...

When you really think about it, there are SO MANY OBJECTS in the world, that almost anything you have, unless it is an original creation by someone, like a drawing or letter...can be found again elsewhere! or very nearly replicated at least. Perhaps replaced by something better! So why hoard these things when we dont need them? when need arises, then get what you need, find what you are looking for...but until then, why do I have so much STUFF??

I have multiples of most things, way too much random crap I never use, that I keep around because I like it...and I feel that that is okay, but I do have to get rid of a lot of it. i gotta de-clutter my life. soon.

skipping class today.
need to clean the house for the S party.

and make tinfoil lightning bolts for my costume.

and EAT CHOCOLATE, my mom sent me 3 bars of cocoa camino chocolate in the mail (mint, bittersweet and espresso..mm!) as well as one of those advent calenders that has pictures when you open the tabs instead of chocolate..i like those better :)

this is a good thing to keep in mind:

(from a book my friend lillian was reading..)

"Two persons are sitting in the same draught.The one is injurously affected by it, the other experiences not even an inconvenience, but he rather enjoys it. The one is a creature of circumstances; he fears the draught, cringes before it, continually thinks of the harm it is doing him. In other words, he opens every avenue for it to enter and take hold of him, and so it, harmless and beneficient in itself, brings to him exactly what he has empowered it to bring. The other recognizes himself as a master over, and not the creature of, circumstances. He is not concerned by the draught, He puts himself into harmony with it, makes himself positive to it.

...the mental attitude we take towards anything determines to a greater or less extent its effect upon us."

-Ralph Waldo Trine

space oddity it is!

bowwwiee

umm

having some troubles with teachers lately, or rather today...i find my style doesnt suit the projects or SOMETHING even if i try and i LOVE what i've done, I cant seem to please them, and i always receive poor marks...as in C's or D's, whether I try or not. I get the same marks. Its pretty....disheartening, i would say.

gotta do other things to be happy, like make my own art, think about hitting my teacher over the head with my paintinggIMEAN do yoga or something calming like that. My roomate Kajsa and I signed up for 8 weeks of yoga and we only went to one class! talk about lack of committment. i should try and do it on my own time, but the problem is location..

need to do silkscreening soon. i love it, and its soo satisfying

i read this in a book i have, this is the kind of mentality i want to have all the time, regarding every situation, but it is not so easy..

"Life is what you make it. Why not find the best in every situation and enjoy it to the full, no matter where you are and what you are doing? Never waste time and energy wishing you were somewhere else. You may not always understand why you find yourself where you are, but you may be sure there is a very good reason and that there is a lesson to be learnt. Do not fight against it, but find out what that lesson is and learn it quickly so that you can move on. You would not want to remain static would you? As you cease resisting and simply accept the lessons to be learnt, taking them all in your stride, you will find life much easier and, what is more, you will enjoy the changes which take place. A plant does not resist growth or change; it simply flows with it and unfolds in true perfection. Why don't you do the same?"

- Eileen Caddy

I feel like I need to confront my teachers about why I am getting such poor marks, so I can learn how to improve or please them more...as well as listen more closely to their demonstrations and explanations...and stop resisting their methods ...thinking mostly of painting here i guess ..

i enjoy it until i become disheartened by teachers who shut me down ..with comments or bad marks, like a 57 i got today on a painting i really enjoyed painting and was pretty happy with...who's to say who is in the wrong, if anyone is...i guess its all too subjective..

sometimes, somebody such as mysself simply seems unable to summon a scintillating, super sweet IDEA, y'know?

So I'm hosting an S party this weekend. the theme is S. any costume that starts with the letter S... As one of the hosts, and the creator of this sweeeeeet idea, i feel obligated to have a super sweet costume, but i can't ssssink of a single one!

so far my ideas are:

- star spangled (tinfoil stars on black or silver dress)

- saturn (uhhh.....)

-silver(y)

- space oddity (bowie!)

- (a) swarm (of..)

- solar system

- splattered

-straight up O G

- sea
-silk(y)

ssssssssssighhh

i dunno

sssssssssuggestions, my few readers?

Confucious said:

"the superior man attends to the spiritual things and not to his livelihood"

THE FROST

Young Man,

Seize every minute

of your time.

The days fly by;

Ere long you too

Will grow old.

If you beleive me not

See there, in the courtyard,

How the frost

Glitters white and cold and cruel

On the grass
That was once green.

- Tzu Yeh

despite this, these thoughts..

I've decided to stick it out. school. my cousin is done school in a few weeks, after 4 1/2 years of University, she is writing her last essay and now heading out into the world with a 1 way ticket to Europe.....but after putting in the work. I think, although i feel that i should do what i wanna do when i wanna do it, i will get school behind me completed. it'll be worth it in the end, i will just choose to enjoy what i'm doing when i'm doing it and not think about what other wonderful things i could be doing at this time, the time for those things will come......perhaps when i have earned them?

curiosities

TODAY i saw a migration of robin-birds on my way back from class, i've been watching their agitation and group gatherings for some weeks now.

AND while taking out the garbage, i noticed that the object i had assumed to be a large bird house on the side of my house, as that is exactly what it looks like, actually was not a bird house at all. And in fact contained a blue corded phone which is attached to the house...it looks old but apparently was not there at the beginning of the year.

how strange.

today's theme is green...and walls.

this one time, about a month after my landlord installed new floors in my room and i painted my walls, i spilled an entire bottle of ink in my lap/ on my wall and floor.... but i secretly love the spill. it has character or, rather, adds character to my room i suppose.

please note the toes.

my other roomate monica climbing the same tree...

the photographs begin!

So one of my main passions is photography, as a form of art to experiment with. I have a 35mm Asahi Pentax and up until now I had only prints...but my roomate Kyle was nice enough to scan some of my photographs today, which I am super excited about. This first one is of Kyle climbing a tree this summer when we wandered around downtown one day...taken behind the Nat'l art gallery..

<3